I don't think I'll start feel better for a while

I can't seem to stop thinking about my brother. I can't even stop crying. And trying not to think about him makes it worse because I'll think he's still here even though he's 5 hours away in the country where no internet is, and my foster parents don't even know where CFS put him.. I heard that his new foster parents are strict and I'm really worried about him and if he misses us like how much I miss him. Because he's never been gone that far away by his self with strangers at all before.

My foster parents told me to tell people that he's gone, and no one can contact him or see him at all while he's gone. I want to see him though. He's the only person that has been really close to me since birth. And I'm the one that shows I really do care about him. My stupid cousin was even chanting "Shane is gone! Hurray!". That made me feel worse.

The bad part is I still have to go to school. I don't want to go. I might just randomly start crying in class. And I hate crying in front of people.

I just wish he never met his friends here. I feel like yelling at them for making him do things he shouldn't at all be doing. I just really hate them but I can't tell them. Now I'm just sleeping with my brothers blanket because I miss him that much. And now here comes some more sad feelings. TT~TT

I'll just be laying in bed crying until I fall asleep.